Self-help Success

There is a fundamental flaw with coaching and self-help industry. As human beings we are hardwired to reach, to stretch, to want more tomorrow than we have today.

This is a good thing. This discomfort with the status quo has been at the root of all civilization, all that is best in art, music, writing, science and industry has come to us because someone wanted to be more today than they were yesterday.

Coaches are wonderful and great – people with knowledge who help others find a better, faster, shorter way to success are essential to being better. If you want to lose weight, run a marathon, learn a language, sell more, or dress better taking a course or hiring an expert is the perfect approach. This is why we all went to school

The problem for many, however, is that the drive within to be more, have more and do more is blocked by fear.  The goal – to be rich, thin, smart, beautiful, happy is not the problem. These things we want are symptoms of healthy, positive thinking. The real problem is fear.

It is this fear that fuels the self-help industry. Without fear we would simply get on with life. If you wanted to be in top physical condition you could buy a few books, study anatomy, hire a personal trainer and within a few months you would begin to see real and substantial results. The same would be true for almost any goal but, unfortunately, life is not so simple.

Fear is complex and is the monster under our beds. Fear is not a ‘thing’ it is not ‘real’ and only exists as a concept within our own mind. We believe in the power of fear because we created it and what we create is real for us. Fear is really nothing but what you believe is true for you and here is the root of the problem. Our mind is enormously powerful and our beliefs create our world. The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference – the dominant ideas, wishes and emotions in our mind. We look inside first, decide the kind of world we want to see and then project that world outside, making it the truth as we see it. We make it true by our interpretations of what it is we are seeing. If we are using perception to justify our own mistakes – our fear, our anger, or our lack of love – we will find it.

If we believe that we have a fear of public speaking, a weight problem, an inability to attract a suitable mate, a fear of intimacy then we have created that reality, by our own choice, within ourselves. Because fear is created within us nobody outside of us can change that belief.

The result is that when fear exists, in any of its forms, then the most the outside world can do to help is to treat symptoms. Only we can deal with the problem. If we want to change, to improve, to be more than we were yesterday we must change. Without change at the level of the problem all of the gurus, courses, and memberships will fail. This is good news for the self-help industry because it keeps us coming back, again and again to solve the same problem. We become self-help addicts when all we need to do is to change our thinking and our thinking can change in an instant.

Imagine trying to grow anything on a field that has been completely covered by concrete. We throw down the seeds and nothing happens. This is the role of fear in our lives – it blocks all growth and makes development impossible. Fear is as powerful as concrete because we have given it that strength – no other reason. If we change our thinking the concrete disappears instantly.

We can be all that we want to be and the world is full of wonderful coaches and experts that can show us how to achieve greatness. Those experts, however, cannot help us if we refuse to believe that change is possible. It has been written that a miracle is a change in perception. Change the way you see yourself and your world changes instantly – you won’t need another book or another course.

The power to be all you want to be is a power you already have!