Do you need better friends? Probably you do! It is a scientific fact that the people in our lives are a reflection of how we view our world – we become like those around us!

We choose our friends, lovers, employees and customers! Better friends or perhaps more appropriate friends can significantly affect what we think about. Smokers hang with smokers and drinkers hang with drinkers. If you are a runner chances are that those you will be attracted to will also be runners. If you’re unhealthy your friends are too! More than one hundred scientific studies support that this is real! We become like those we spend time with and we spend time with people who reflect our choices and values.

Homophily (i.e., “love of the same”) is the tendency of individuals to associate and bond with similar others. The occurrence of homophily has been discovered in a vast array of network studies. In their extensive review paper, sociologists McPherson, Smith-Lovin and Cook (2001) cite over one hundred studies that have observed homophily in some form or another. These include age, gender, class, organizational role, and so forth.

Do you know someone who has a public persona of confidence and excellence but tends to associate with people without the same level of education, intelligence or ambition? Could this relate to how the people actually view themselves? Ayn Rand, the writer of Atlas Shrugged wrote that you could tell how a man internally views himself by his choice of spouse.

When I was in grade eleven (about 16 years old) I decided that I wanted to go to University but knew that the grades that I had been getting in school would not get me there. I had been very much involved in the theatre program and performing arts and had not focused on academics. Well, I knew this had to change and change quickly if I was going to turn around my performance and I made the decision to get a whole new set of friends. I walked away from the actors and scoured my classes to find the smartest kids in the school whom, much to their surprise, I befriended. My new friends were serious, focused and driven and have been my friends to this day. This choice absolutely changed my life.

If I were brutally honest, some of my romantic choices have not been reflective of my highest values and goals and the results have been predictably disappointing.

The overwhelming research is that we tend to associate with people who are reflections of how we view ourselves. If positive, then we will tend to stay positive or become more positive if negative we will stay negative.

Do you see the opportunity here?

The power is that we have the ability to change our world, business, our thinking, our habits and our lifestyle by consciously selecting different people to allow into our world. Who we associate with, where we spend our time, what we read, what television watch, who we hire and who we do business with can change us and in consequence our lives!

Changing ourselves and our circumstances is not easy but becomes impossible when everyone around us is reinforcing the habits and environments we want to change. This is why it is almost impossible for people to break out of poverty. A business which has been static for decades can completely change with new ownership.

This power could be incredible and the difference in our lives could be immediate and dramatic.

Sales is a process thatshould be developed and managed! Get the right plan, the right people, the right tools combined with the right kind of motivation and success will happen!


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Wyn Nathan Davis

Wyn Nathan Davis MBA DTM is a London based sales recruiter, sales trainer and sales process consultant. A best selling author and professional speaker. Wyn is Managing Director of The sales Experts. Contact us for more details connect@thesalesexperts.com +44 (0)20 536 5591