The rich get richer; it’s the law of the land!
It does seem like the rich get richer. In fact, studies have consistently shown that rich people are getting richer all the time. Over the last few decades more money and resources has moved into fewer hands than ever before.
I have a theory. I do not believe that rich people are smarter than people without a great deal of money.
I do know, personally, some very rich people. People who are worth in excess of £100 million – to me, that’s very rich!
I have known them for years and have spent a lot of time with them in their homes and I believe they are no different from many middle class families.
So what makes them rich?
I believe it is expectation. They expect and believe that they will have wealth and abundance and so they do. Other people expect to get by and they do that. Still others expect to live comfortably and that is their reality! I believe that rich people expect and believe to be rich and so that is what they manifest in their lives!
We can do the same!
I do believe that we create our reality as a result of our vision of the world. I believe that this is true about every aspect of our lives!
The concept of Creative Visualization suggests that creating a detailed schema of what one desires and then visualizing it over and over again with all of the senses will create that reality in our lives (i.e., what do you see? what do you feel? what do you hear? what does it smell like?). For example, in sports a golfer may visualize the “perfect” stroke over and over again to mentally train muscle memory.
In one of the most well-known studies on Creative Visualization in sports, Russian scientists compared four groups of Olympic athletes in terms of their training schedules:
* Group 1 = 100% physical training;
* Group 2 – 75% physical training with 25% mental training;
* Group 3 – 50% physical training with 50% mental training;
* Group 4 – 25% physical training with 75% mental training.
* Group 4, with 75% of their time devoted to mental training, performed the best. “The Soviets had discovered that mental images could act as a prelude to muscular impulses.”
Belief is powerful medicine, even if the treatment itself is a sham.
This is seen with the Placebo Effect!
A man whom his doctors referred to as “Mr. Wright” was dying from cancer of the lymph nodes. Orange-size tumors had invaded his neck, groin, chest and abdomen, and his doctors had exhausted all available treatments. Nevertheless, Mr. Wright was confident that a new anticancer drug called Krebiozen would cure him, according to a 1957 report by psychologist Bruno Klopfer of the University of California, Los Angeles, and entitled “Psychological Variables in Human Cancer.”
Mr. Wright was bedridden and fighting for each breath when he received his first injection. But three days later he was cheerfully ambling around the unit, joking with the nurses. Mr. Wright’s tumors had shrunk by half, and after 10 more days of treatment he was discharged from the hospital. And yet the other patients in the hospital who had received Krebiozen showed no improvement.
These stories are common and documented. Every test of a new drug includes a test group who are given a Placebo and often with significant results.
We can do more in our lives then just think positively and make the most of a bad situation – seeing the world with rose-coloured glasses!
We can believe that our world is different and in believing make it so or we choose to fail!
Like most high achievers I have battled with failure and have fought self-limiting beliefs. I have studied NLP and considered dozens of theories of why some of us can face the daily battles of life with a smile and a laugh and why others need to struggle more.
As a business consultant, sales recruiter and speaker I connect with people everyday whose fear of failure holds them back. This affects careers, businesses and relationships. In the end, it is our fears that create failure. The biggest hurdle for most of us is not the work or skill to become successful but simply accepting that we are able to become successful at all. We lack the confidence, self-esteem and self-love to expect success and our doubts create failure.
I believe that most approaches to failure over complicate what is really a very simple problem.
I believe that we fail for one very simple reason – we choose to fail!
Before I explain my position let’s get on the same page about a few things.
I believe that as humans we all have free will and the ability to decide how we feel about anything that is happening directly or indirectly to us. In other words, reality is perception and how we perceive our world determines our reality.
I believe that if we have fully participated in an activity and enjoyed ourselves then we have succeeded. I am not talking about winning and failing in absolute terms but winning or failing in our ability to effectively participate in life.
I believe that if you are able to take on any challenge that interests you then you are a winner.
I believe that if you walk away from opportunities, avoid challenges, and do not try because of some fear then you are a failure – you have failed!
So, to restate my position I believe that people fail because they choose to fail. Failure is an opportunity available to all of us and some of us choose it and some reject it.
Why do we choose failure?
The short answer is that when we choose failure we do not love ourselves, which is really about self-esteem. We are not born wanting failure we learn to be this way.
I believe that we are all born as innocent humans with everything we need to succeed. Look at small children play. They run and fall, they sing and dance, they will respond to all stimulus positively and joyfully. Children equally learn English, Chinese or Russian depending on where they live. Toss a new-born into water and they can swim.
We are not born to fail. We are born to live and to succeed. We choose to fail because we believe we are not worthy to succeed!
We actually learn to fail! We learn to choose failure. I believe that when we are born we love ourselves, and the world around us, but that we learn over time that we are not worthy of love (even from ourselves). The result is that we doubt our abilities and develop a fear of challenge – we learn to believe ourselves as failures and so we fail. We choose failure!
What is the answer?
Well, it could be a lifetime of analysis or a fortune in self-improvement courses or we could simply choose to love ourselves as children do. When we do this our self-esteem soars and then fear disappears – challenges become simply fun. We can only have one thought at a time choose love or fear.
Try a little experiment. Think of a challenge that frightens you – got it?
Now put that fear aside and think of a parent holding a newborn child. Imagine all of the perfect love – the circle of love – the parent for the child and the child for the parent. No judgments or expectations just pure love. Got that feeling of love and perfection? Now imagine that you are both the parent and the child – that is the feeling of self-love!
Powerful isn’t it? Hang on to the feeling for just a few minutes longer and go back to the challenge that frightens you. Is your feeling different? Even just for a second?
Learn to love yourself in this pure and uncomplicated way and you will learn to succeed. It takes practice as our negative habits run deep but you can learn to love yourself and embrace every challenge without fear.
Once we accept ourselves then we can simply enjoy life without the backing away from goals and ideas. Once we love and accept ourselves then we will also begin to love and accept those around us – life becomes better!
Is it worth a shot? I hope it is, after all, you’re really are a winner!
What are you really afraid of? Try a new way to look at fear. We all face fears everyday that prevent other actions from being taken and goals being achieved. We might have a dream but cannot overcome our insurmountable fear and so we avoid the challenge.
We may want to develop presentation skills but are afraid of speaking in public, we want to start a business but are afraid to risk our assets; we are in an unhappy marriage but are afraid to be alone. Our fears are as varied as our personalities.
The fact is, most people fear a consequence that doesn’t exist.
My father was afraid of bees. He was not allergic so there was no life or death consequence he was just afraid. My mother had no fear of bees and would let one land on her arm and would simply gently dust it away. Very different realities!
I have learned, over-time, that projection makes perception. The world you see is what you give it, nothing more than that.
Our fears are our personal ‘reality’ and are witness to our state of mind, the outside picture of an inward condition. As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. Therefore, do not seek to change your world, but choose to change your mind about the world. This will change your life! Perception truly is a result and not a cause.
I have not met Richard Branson but I do not imagine that he lives with much fear. Everyday whether in business or flying in a balloon, he risks everything and he has done so for years. Reading his biography ‘Losing My Virginity’ I am not given the impression that he is a genius but rather someone who has never avoided a challenge and so has won more often than lost.
You can’t win if you don’t play.
If you understand that fear is not real your life will be very, very different!
Fear is not of the present, but only of the past and future, which do not exist. There is no fear in the present when each instant stands clear and separated from the past, without its shadow reaching out into the future. Each instant is a clean, untarnished moment. Live in the moment, be present and fear cannot affect you! Living in the moment is a powerful change that can increase your ability to get what you want. Doing what is important right now and focusing your attention completely on that makes every experience powerful – whether giving a speech, a sales presentation or playing with your children. People sense that you care and they react accordingly. Your personal connection to your world gets stronger and more fulfilling.
Understanding fear can be a challenge but the moment you understand that it is not real then life really starts to get interesting!
Take Away – this is an easy one! Attitude is everything and we can decide in one moment how we will view our life! Our mind is incredibly powerful – use it to create your own reality and your own circumstances!